Crossroads

I always envisioned a different scenario upon discovering my pregnancy. I always thought I would come up with a cute, creative way to reveal the news to my husband (ie. giving him a baby bib that said, "I love my Daddy") or something along those lines. Instead, Brad found me sitting on the toilet, pants around the ankles, as I was trembling with a test in my hand. Of course, me shrieking, "OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD!!!" is probably what caught his attention.

Brad's reaction was in stark contrast to mine. He squealed (yes, squealed), jumped up and down and clapped his hands and chanted, "Yes! Yes! Yes! That is awesome!" Instead, my whole life felt like it was flashing before my eyes, and I was in total disbelief. I kept asking him if I was seeing things and if he thought it was a faulty test. Although, there was no arguing with the dark, dark pink plus sign that had appeared just seconds after peeing on the stick.

Moments later, the dogs were barking and running around and it took us a moment to realize that our friend JD had begun to knock on our door just seconds after our discovery. I remember opening the door with a wide-eyed, ashen expression on my face and later JD told us that he thought something weird was happening.

We immediately phoned both of our parents and while his parents were excited (and I think relieved that we were finally having kids), mine were in just as much shock as I was. I was still in disbelief as I was telling my parents, so I honestly felt like I was telling them a fib. I even insisted on driving to Walgreen's at 9:30 pm to take another test "just in case". However, the Walgreen's test confirmed what the Wal-Mart test confirmed...I was very, very pregnant.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't that I didn't want the pregnancy. I just didn't expect it, and I certainly did not feel ready. I know about the birds and bees, and how babies are made, it's just that there were so many other "incidents" over the years where I should have logically become pregnant and didn't. There were so many times when I was late, had the textbook symptoms only to start a period a day or two later. And this time, I had virtually no symptoms, and even tested negative right before New Year's Eve (I had to find out if I could have the real bubbly or just the bubbly grape juice). I also thought that pregnancy was something that happened to "grown-ups". Even though I'm 27, and Brad is 29, we certainly don't feel like it. And Brad and I had just decided that this spring he would embark on starting his own landscaping company. So the timing just seemed very off, but I had to just trust in God and His perfect timing.

And so over the next few weeks, reality sank in (as well as some very real pregnancy symptoms). We gradually told close friends and family members, and as we did, I began to believe it more and more with each person I told. And as unprepared as I felt (and I still feel, to be honest), I just kept reminding myself that this baby is meant to be, and has a purpose and plan for his or her life. The responsibility of being a factor in that plan is still overwhelming. But God will only give us what we can handle, right??