It's a girl!

I didn't think last Wednesday would EVER get here. The days just seemed to become progressively slower as we reached the date of our ultrasound. That morning, work was pure agony. (Which reminds me, always do the ultrasound first thing in the morning)! We had to wait until 2:00 to find out, and my mind was anywhere but at work.

If I thought the days leading up to the ultrasound was slow, the time spent in the waiting room was even longer. By the time we were called back, I practically threw myself on the bed and yanked up my shirt! As excited as I was, I was also very nervous. This was the first time we were going to see the baby, and I was apprehensive about everything checking out okay, health wise. The best way to describe the feeling is the type of feeling I would get before a first date with a guy I really, really liked. Thrilled, yet apprehensive.

However, all of my jitters changed to awe when we got a first glimpse of the baby on the screen. It was the most surreal feeling. I always thought I would cry, but I actually laughed instead. We told the tech that we wanted to know the gender right away, and I thought for SURE we would see a "turtle". Despite what we suspected, the tech said, "It definitely looks like a girl to me." I replied, "Are you sure?! I'm not trying to insult your intelligence, or anything like that, but do you think we have a boy with a tiny package?" She just grinned and responded, "That's not a tiny package, that is definitely a girl." But to put the debate at rest, she called in someone else, just for a second opinion, which confirmed that our girl was very, um, girly.

I have to admit, after yearning for a boy for years, my heart sank a bit. And then I felt like I was getting payback for all of the gray hairs I put in my own mother's head. But, it didn't take long for the disappointment to melt away and for pure, overwhelming love to take over. How could I love this sweet baby any less, just because she's a girl? Sometimes God honors the desires of our heart, but other times, He knows best and gives us what we NEED instead...and evidently we need a little girl in our lives.

After an hour of watching her on the screen, I was too in love to even care if she was a girl. She had so much personality (I'm sure every parent says this, but she really did)! She barely stayed still the whole time (which is a relief that she's a healthy girl, but I'm afraid I'll have an active baby on my hands). She bounced and wiggled and kicked and waved and head banged and rolled and fist pumped the whole time. The most precious sight was when she stretched back her head and delicately scratched her chin for a minute, like she was perplexed in thought. And we were quite relieved to hear that our child was very "average" in all of her growth measurements and was very healthy and strong. (It will be the one time I don't mind hearing that she's just average, haha)!

Her on-screen personality helped solidify her name, Vivian. We had pretty much decided on that name before the ultrasound, but were open to potentially changing it. But after watching her dance around for an hour, we knew it was the ideal name for our girl. Vivian means lively, alive, vivacious and bold. I think she'll have no problem living up to that name. I also adore the name Vivian, not only for the meaning, but for the old-fashioned, yet glamorous sound. I loved the actress Vivian Leigh, who was popular in the 1940's. I thought it would be a name that was timeless, classic, yet not overused.

We are still getting used to the thought of a little girl, and to be honest, the thought intimidates me a bit. But I'm up to the challenge, and Brad is already wrapped around her finger, though he may not know it yet. He's already on a mission to find her a "plush, pink pig" for her first stuffed animal. I'm looking forward to the friendship that mother and daughter have for life, even though I know there will be times where I am public enemy number one. I am also looking forward to seeing her whip Brad...I was a Daddy's girl, and still am to this day. It'll be a fun, interesting ride for sure!

Pink...or blue??

Right now Brad and I are waiting in suspense until 2:00pm, Wednesday April 13th. That is when we will discover if we are having a little boy or a little girl. Seriously, I have no idea how my parents (and parents before that) waited. I suppose they didn't know any different. However, I am a very impatient person when it comes to the rhelm of the unknown! I want to be able to call our baby by name...not just Baby V. or "it". I want to be able to design a nursery that is gender specific and buy clothes. The way I see it, we will be just as surprised at the ultrasound as we would be at the birth. In fact, I found the most adorable crib bedding (if it's a boy) and I'm hanging on to the receipt just in case it's a girl.

Of course, throughout the first half of the pregnancy you get the inevitable questions: "What are you hoping for...a boy or a girl?" And "What do you feel like you're having?" My response to the first question is the stereotypical, "Well, either is fine as long as it's healthy." But truth be told, I would love, love, love a little boy. And as far as the second question goes, we both feel strongly that it's a boy--but I wonder if that is only because we long for one.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to resent this little one if she turns out to be a girl. I'm sure that I won't be able to imagine it any other way. I have just always loved little boys and their mischevious spirits and their precocious grins. Mothers and sons have a tight, unexplainable bond, just like fathers and daughters do. I would wholeheartedly say that I am a "Daddy's girl" through and through. I would love to have a "Momma's boy". Not in the wimpy sense at all...but to raise a little boy into a man of character would be such a great accomplishment and joy.

I babysat for mostly boys over the years and always enjoyed all of the projects, the play fights, the video games, and the chaos, etc. I guess that just comes natural to me. I always loved my girls students to death, but always had a soft spot for my boys. And the thought of Brad doing father-son things with our boy like camping and fishing, baseball and Boyscouts just melts my heart.

If, in fact I am having a girl, I know that I may feel a little dissapointment (it sounds horrible, but I'm being honest), but I am confident I will quickly become thrilled at the prospect as well. It would be fun to have "girls nights", shop together, and have heart-to-heart talks. And hopefully we can enjoy the best of both worlds...spa days together, as well as camping at the beach. As long as she isn't prissy girly, I'm sure we'll get along just fine.

Whoever, he or she is, I know that God has a plan and a purpose for his or her life. And so I will remind myself of this before (and, if needed, after) the ultrasound. I am excited to get to know this little one and can't wait to have many adventures with it!